Why do we Unconsciously go for the Same Type of Person in Relationships

Why do we Unconsciously go for the Same Type of Person in Relationships


When it comes to types, psychological elements influence us more than physical ones. The relationships we have with our parents can influence our other intimate relationships and the type of person we go for.

According to a report in Psychology Today in 2017, the reason we keep ending up with the same type of person dates back to our earliest relationships. As young children we develop defences to cope with painful circumstances. Growing up we build on our defences, believing them to be a part of our personality. By believing that we are unlovable or unattractive or even unworthy, we tend to seek out people whose behaviour will support those beliefs.

Studies have shown that we are all attracted to what is familiar to us, and that repeated exposure to certain people will increase our attraction towards them. For example, if you grew up with an abusive parent or parents, you will tend to be attracted to an abusive partner, not because you find them attractive, but because you find their behaviour familiar.

By becoming aware of the patterns in our relationships, we will be able to change them. Simply making that connection creates an awareness that alters your beliefs emanating from your unconscious mind. As we know, the unconscious influences our behaviour and the way we experience the world around us, even though we are often unaware of these underlying processes. The unconscious can hold hidden memories, habits, repressed feelings, thoughts, desires and reactions.

We have two parts to our brain- the conscious part and the unconscious. These two parts have very different roles. When you cut your finger, for example, you consciously clean the wound and apply a dressing, but it is unconscious processes that are actually healing the wound.

So, how can we tap into our unconscious in order to change our negative behaviour into positive new ones? You are probably not surprised to find out that the answer is hypnosis. Hypno has been around since the ancient Egyptians and Greeks over 5,000 years ago.

There are many myths and misconceptions about hypnosis. Hypnosis will not make anyone say or do anything against their will. It is a state of relaxation; It is safe and you will remain in complete control at all times.

The conscious mind is the part of the mind that thinks, feels and acts in the present. The unconscious mind is the seat of all our memories, our past experiences, and all that we have learnt. Everyone has memories or experiences in their unconscious mind that they may not be able to recall but that still play a significant role in everyday life. Hypnosis enhances your ability to remember events you would not otherwise recall. So, if you change the way you relate to memories of the past, especially those regarding your parents in this instance, you can alter and enhance the types of relationships you unconsciously move towards in the present.

By Michelle Hill

The Mind’s Eye London


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